guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
