so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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