We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
