I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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