i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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