There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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