I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's shark week go big or go home
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
