When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How does one acquire holy water?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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