There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
