There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He passed out mid-signature
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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