is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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