He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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