Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
