do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize