But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my being single is dangerous.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
