to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
