toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
