I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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