No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
