he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
