Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
