so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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