Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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