ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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