Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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