Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
