Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
