Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Someone came in the potted fern
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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