all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
