That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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