I love black thongs
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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