OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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