That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
