can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize