I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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