You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
