I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
