I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize