so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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