# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
