Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I looked at my own cervix.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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