The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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