What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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