tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
