He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize