White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
