If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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