So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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