ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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