I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
