My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
