You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
