We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
