Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
